South American Escapade
scene1 aboard the Royal Rio Banana Zeppelin
(On the stage, off to an extreme side, Groucho, Chico and a fancy lady are sitting. We’re aboard the Rio Banana zeppelin en route to Sao Paulo.)
Chico: Say boss, the pretty lady here, she wants a you to change, ok?
Groucho: Change eh? Tell her I won’t settle for less than fifty cents on the dollar!
Chico; No boss. She wants your seat.
Groucho: My seat is my final resting place. Tell it’ll cost more than she can afford.
Woman: (exasperated) Well!
Groucho; In that case I’ll be a gentleman. ( He reaches under and grabs his cushion and passes it to her.) Now you can feel as comfortable as I was.
Chico: You’ve got some swell ideas...but I think she wants to sit where you are.
Groucho: Is she serious! I couldn’t take the strain, besides there’s really only room for one, and the crew would have to oversee the seating arrangements.
Chico: Ok. But she not gonna like this. I think she expects you to get up and take her seat.
Groucho; Well now you’re getting somewhere!
(Suddenly two dancing girls hurry across the stage being chased by Harpo.)
Groucho: Must be a new part of the floor show.
Chico: They no show. They fleeing the scene.
Groucho: Scene’s all right with me. Say, why don’t you offer your chair to the lady?
Chico: I did. But she want an aisle view.
Groucho: Aisle view? Aren’t we getting a little forward here? I’ll do the viewing. What are you watching anyway.
Chico: Say, I’m notta viewing, I’mma watching the show like you.
( A different two girls run across the stage being chased by Harpo.)
Groucho: Something suspicious about the character development in this show.
Chico: She’s not suspicious. She just wants to sit near the aisle. Let’s switch our chairs?
Groucho: OK. But I’m warning you.I can’t be responsible for the character development. I’m struggling as it is.
Chico: You no struggle. You sit like a this.
( They switch seats.)
Groucho: ( To fancy lady) Happy now? We’re practically engaged. (Takes her hand.) Where’s the rock? I promise I’ll be the man you dreamed of. Or maybe it was something you ate. I can’t be responsible for the menu either.
(She shrugs in horror.) (The curtains are being jostled and we hear Harpo’s honk.)
(Across the stage the emcee walks out and begins his announcements.)
Emcee: Welcome aboard ladies and germs. Gentlemen. The Ninth wonder of the modern world the flying palace... the Royal Rio Banana Zeppelin Cruise Line welcomes you to the best variety show at three thousand feet in the air! As we drift to Sao Paolo let’s give a big welcome to the singing and dancing extravaganza we affectionately call the second grade!! Let’s hear it!!
(Here's the list of songs and scenes that followed.)
scene 2 in the jungles of northern BrasilPre-K Catch a Falling Star/ Here Comes the Sun / Bananaphone
scene 3 deeper in the jungle
Kindergarten- Are You Lost? / Peru / Wonderful World
scene 4 at the Hotel California Resort HotelFirst Grade- One Note Samba / El Condor Pasa / Big Yellow Taxi
scene 5 in the grand ballroom of the palace
Third Grade- The Coffee Song / Girl From Ipanema / Carioca
scene 2 in the jungles of northern Brasil
(Curtain) ( A small group of indigenous South American chieftains are looking into the evening sky:)
Chief #1: My people the ancient tribe known as the OKEEPO-KEE approach. Let the ceremonial music be played. (The chief raises his hand and at his command music begins. The OKEEPO-KEE enter up the center aisle.
Chief #2: Welcome OKEEPO-KEE! My people the ancient tribe known as the HUGGA-BUGGIES join you. Let the ceremonial music be played. (The chief raises his hand and at his command music begins. The HUGGA-BUGGIES enter up the center aisle.
The elders of the HokeePokee natives see the distant star. It’s an omen. They gather their children to watch.
SING: CATCH A FALLING STAR, THEN HERE COMES THE SUN.
The zeppelin lands. The passengers and crew are not happy. They need to get the radio working again. Several exchanges with “Sparks” the dude who fixes electronics.
Lacking AC current they must resort to the Bananaphone.(use old mike.) SING:Bananaphone
scene 3 deeper in the jungle
Chief #3: The last vanishing tribe of this ancient land will join you. A proud tribe known for their un-decipherable script and bedside manner- welcome The DOCTORS WHO MAKE HOUSECALLS.
Chief #4: In the sky. There. What distant craft floats so quietly above?
Chief #5: It is the Royal Rio Zeppelin on it’s way to Rio.
scene 4 at the Hotel California Resort HotelFirst Grade- One Note Samba / El Condor Pasa / Big Yellow Taxi
The Incas watch the approach of the intruders with the Bolivian navy.
scene 5 in the grand ballroom of the palace
Third Grade- The Coffee Song / Girl From Ipanema / Carioca
When the emperor is finally introduced it turns out to be Harpo!
(One of the Kindergarten songs I wrote.)
Are You Lost?
Columbia, Bolivia, and the nation of Guyana
Chile, Brazil and in-betweena
Uraguay, Paraguay, just head down the river
The Rio Plata, what’s the matta?
Is you lost in South America?
Peruvians being groovians, dance with Ecuadorians
And then of course there’s Suriname, a heck of a name, a heck of a name
It’s the neighbor of French Guyana
Did I leave out Venezuala? It’s just as wella
Since they’ve too much oil they want to sella
That leaves only Argentina
What could be meana than leaving out Argentina?
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